Food for thought

What do you think of this?
I feel it just hit the nail on the head.

Straight up

"Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

And a few more thoughts, from one of the greatest men of my lifetime:

“On some positions, Cowardice asks the question, "Is it safe?" Expediency asks the question, "Is it politic?" And Vanity comes along and asks the question, "Is it popular?" But Conscience asks the question "Is it right?" And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right.”

. . .

“We must rapidly begin the shift from a "thing-oriented" society to a "person-oriented" society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered.”

. . .

“The saving of our world from pending doom will come, not through the complacent adjustment of the conforming majority, but through the creative maladjustment of a nonconforming minority.”

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2012/01/straight-up.html

Post 2011 reflections

Have you ever thought about goodwill accumulation review?
If you have not, then it is time to do it.
Why?
It is a way to re-organise your piorities and re-focus on your most pressing issues and stop wasting time on the non-essentials duties and people.
It is not to say that we need to ignore others totally but balance it up. For those persistent leeching friends, give your attention when you can spare them. They can find others even if they cant find you.
As you are going through the network of friends and family members, determine how much time you want to spend on them.
Then determine if they are a positive or negative influence on your life.
If they are negative influence, e.g. they are not supportive of your decision to try new things, they constantly take up your time to help them do things, they constantly criticise you, then it is time for you to re-consider what you want to do with them? Spend less time? Change their pereption?

Remember a quote from Steve Jobs - "Everyone wants a piece of you."
Therefore, be smart and dont waste time.

LOVE YOURSELF

Yeah, you hear me right!
Love yourself.
The first question that comes to your mind is "Excuse me, who would not love myself?"
Mind you, you will be amazed!
Upon deeper probing, you may find that not everyone will love themselves.
Why so?
There are a lot of reasons.
Some may feel it is too narcissistic as fairy tales would teach children.
Some may feel that it is too self-centred and living in a community should not focus on self only.
The above not illegitimate reasons but the question is to what extent has this been carried out?
There must be a balance between I - WE.
Why?
If there is no balance, the impact will inevitably affect the rest as well.
Consider the following scenarios.

Scenario A
A is a selfish person. Whatever he/she does, it is all calculated and focus on themselves only. They will do what it benefits them. They do not care about the others so in times of need, they will manipulate others to help themselves.
What happens in the long run?
People will slowly distance themselves away from them and the selfish A cant survive because everyone needs others's help to advance.

Scenario B
B is a caring person. He/She will spend a lot of their time on helping others. He/She feels it is the right way to do things and who knows he may need help from others. Better to build up the goodwill. As they get to know more people, more people ask them for help.
What happens to B in the long run?
B will realise that he cannot cope with the increasing demands of others asking for help. Why? Others are taking advantage of B because he/she is free in their thinking.
If B cannot deliver his promise to help, others will complain or even bear grudges on B.
That will inevitably bring more stress to B because he cant deliver so he fails himself and he has to bear with the grudges and complaints againist him. But in the first place, that is not his business isnt it?
Then he realise, sometimes when he need help the most, people actually rejected him because they have other piorities in life.
After going through a lot of self-thoughts, B might get more jaded and pent up anger rising. In the long term, this is not good for both B and others.

Suppose there is a balance, A loves themselves but finds time to help others. B changes their piorities and love themselves first, it would be better so that everyone around them knows where is their limit and would not have unrealistic expectations about them.

Isnt this nicer?

Happy New year, 2012!!

It has been long since I updated this. But happy new year!!

A little story on work

Right from the start, P know that P will not last long in this company. P did not choose on my own free will to come in. Couldnt find a job so beggars cannot be choosers. Maybe subconsciously, P was not hoping to get a job because P was not ready for it.
Nonetheless, P still forced myself to go, even if P have to vomit at the end of every interview session. P do not want to be penniless. So money was a factor for poor fresh grad.
On the 1st day of work,P tell myself, nevermind, P shall go in and learn new things. New experiences that will help me, since in the past P only focus on my studies. Never develop the soft skills.
It was a big mistake and P pay a heavy price for it. P was not ready at all. Did not even prep herself by reading books on relationships and at least office politics and perception. P tot be herself is good enough. P is who P said P to be and behave like that. P did not mean any harm to others so long P get job done with sufficient information.
P am that happy.
Well, others told her " You are the happy-go-lucky kind of person and that kind of person dun last."
P am also very grateful to those who lend a helping hand to her. Maybe that was wrong too. Maybe they took pity on her, maybe they had other things in mind. Everyone has a motive for helping others even those who seem harmless and sincere. One does not know what transpire in their minds. At that point in time, for someone like her who has no information network, no other support and expected to do things, a helping hand is like a lifesaver. For the moment. And by the way, the helping hand is not even her boss.
Her body language is terrible. P often gave people the wrong impression. But that was just her. P din know P was being demanding, emotional and stupid. And that puts people off. P had to sculpt an image for others. To her, this is so fake.  P had to adjust. P din know P had to give up so much just to fit in. Maybe P should just videotape herself in an interview session or put me under stress questioning. So many "should" and "think".
P did not know P was so hard to communicate, given she was a Communications student. P thought all the time she was the easiest person to get along and talk. Now then she knows that people do not think so. They think she is arrogant, offhanded and self-considered genius. In other words, an A*****e. Since she is like that, leave it as it is. She will still perform and do her work. No need to help, she might just slapped it back. P always believes it takes 2 to clap. As a person more experienced and senior than her, her boss did not realise she needed help since she is fresh on the job? In fact, it is a great opportunity to build relationship with her considering the boss need her to perform. P tried with her attempts to communicate via emails. P is just inadept at talking to bosses so she is hoping emails help. It is her way of building relationship with the boss. From there, she will know how is the boss and so on. What rapport is there to talk about when the receiving end do not reciprocate? What did she do before that to deserve all these preconceived perception? In the end, what did it get her? When she start a new position, P told herself to start afresh. She needed her boss to believe and trust her and keep her in the loop. To P, it is not a very demanding requirement.  In the end, it is others who help her. What can P think of her boss?
Well, some may say the boss attempted to build rapport but failed because P is too stubborn to see it. But what do you think of a boss who attempted to dig your personal information at point blank? Where is the privacy?
P also need an outlet to vent due to work-related stress. Who can she talk to? The same people who gave her helping hand. She needed guidance to do her work, let go some steam and talk crap. Apparently, that also need a correct timing and uphold a saint image at all times. As you know it, she did not and did it her own ways. Now people start to think she is playing office politics when she only wanted reprieve. Reality and perceptions. This is not the 1st time this wrong perception of her took place. Maybe she should get a diary and write it down. That becomes her reprieve. "Should" again.
Maybe P have too high expectation of herself and others, including her boss. When P cant live up to it, P cringed, P suffer and torture herself to eternal hell. Frankly speaking, her boss failed to impress her or rather did not live up to her expectation. But that is just her. P and her damn perception so P should go to hell with it. P just want to be P, what is so difficult about it? Afterall, everyday 8 or more hours is spent in the office. Can one wear a fake mask at all times?
P should just leave. Why torture herself working in an office where there is a lot of work, little manpower and suffers from other's wrong perceptions with little or no help at all?
What do you think?

Tip @ work #02 - Time management

It is important for anyone working to plan their working time carefully.
It will not only affect your own schedule but also the schedules of others.
If you are not careful, others may suffer the consequences of your carelessness.
People maybe forced to make risky and careless decisions in order to make their time and efforts more efficient.
Unless you are strategising to oust your rivals which I am sure is not your intention.
Eventually, the relationship between you and the other party will deterioate.
In the world where networking plays an important role, it is terrible to imagine what life would be like should one be ostracised.
Not only does information flow gets obstructed, one will be feel terribly and in the end affect the work.

From my experiences, here are some useful guidelines to help manage your time fruitfully:

a) When you need to enlist other's help, please inform them 3 months in advance.
If not, the minimum period is 1 month.
Please do not inform them 1 week in advance. Not only will they not inform you in time, they may not have enough turnaround time to help you and they will just filter off your request.
They may feel offended at being told the last minute because you seem insincere to invite them given the short notice period.
Finally, your plans will get affected because nobody wish to help you and your things will not get done.

b) Please do careful and detailed planning right from the start:
Though they may seem insignificant, logistical issues can kill any projects given that the resources are incomplete to finish off the project.
Every step and every processes have to be thought out carefully factoring issues like people's mindset, resources required, pre-requistic conditions and time required.
It will take time to figure things out so one must cater more time to unravel them.

Good Luck!

Tips @ work #01 - Never offend people

A quick question - What kind of people would not get their face slapped by others?

Answer?

Those who often radiate warmth and have a ready smile for everyone and every situation.

Long time ago in China, people already observed this and came up with a idiom, "伸手不打笑脸人。” In literal translation, it means one would not slapped someone with a ready smile on the face.
Why?
Why would they not do that?
The kind of energy that radiate from a smiling person is so positive that it is very difficult for anyone to smash that accumulation of positive energy. (Of course, we are not talking about fake people with fake smile. Those who smiled like that will be detected straightaway.And what do people do with them? Ignore them.)

This does not apply just to the physical smile. It also applies to the communications at work in daily lives. If you are courteous and friendly, you will find that good things will multiply. It might sound very tiring and troublesome with a lot of protocol, but ultimately it benefits you.

Why?

It is the positive energy.

It keeps you healthy and as you accumulate more positive energy for yourself, it influences others as positive energy is transferable.

You may ask how does the positive energy link up with the title?

Well, if you keep up with those positive energy, you will abide by it and try to find ways to sustain it and as a result, one will not offend people.

The consequences of offending people can be quite significant although the impact may not be seen until months or years later.

Think about other dept's head, PA to your boss, your colleagues.
If you offended them or disregard some basic manners, they will definitely pose as obstacles to the goals in your life.
I have seen how a man who has creative ideas to change certain customs when he organises a company function. There is innovation but he failed to pay homage to the sponsors who has helped out in the last function. In my opinion, the basic courtesy is to call and thank the person for the help rendered in the past and outline your plans to him so that he would not feel left out or feel that one is disrespectful towards him.
What happens to the man is the sponsor got angry and tried in some ways create obstacles for him.

Think of the tradeoffs, basic courtesy and humbleness with a smile, you will get a cordial friend at least. Or aloof and strong-headed, you will get another rival.

Which one is more worth your effort?

False start vs head starts

Life is full of false starts, believe or not, it does not just happens in the athletic world.

A lot of people feel that having too many false starts is not good for personal development. It will lower the person's morale.

I beg to differ.

Having false starts indicates that the preparation work is insufficient so therefore to prevent further losses or damages, the process which has commenced, is terminated.

Let me share with you an example.

Mr H has recently decided to apply for graduate programme at a local university.

He took a look at the deadline and he thought,"Wow! 15 Aug! Better hurry!"

He was very conscientious. He went to the library to research on his thesis topic almost every week.

Finally nearly 2 weeks before the deadline, he found the thesis topic of his choice.

Then he merrily carry on asking his ex-lecturer for recommendation letters and so on.

But,

little did he know that it is the little things like admin procedures that caused him to not complete his application in time. 

He was crestfallen and depressed for several days.

It seems like he was unable to plan even a small thing like this.

It also makes him doubt if he is able to go back to school, whether he still have the energy and the drive to do it.

However, a good friend saved his day.

The good friend asked, "What are the benefits of NOT achieving this?"

For a moment, there was silence. Mr H was simply stunned.

"How can it be possible to have benefits for not achieving the very thing that I desired? How could he suggest that to me? We have been friends for so long yet he said this to me. I am so hurt."

He could not answer the friend and left in a hurry. 

He did not contact his friend for 2 days because he was still in the hurting stage and he wondered if there is any truth in his friend's words.

By the third day, a sudden "AHA" moment came to his mind and he quickly took a pen to wrote it down.

The title is " Benefits for not submitting my graduate studies application."

1) Mental preparation insufficient. The transition period from working adult to student needs to be adjusted.

2) The thesis topic needs to be more specific. Even if I submitted my application this time round, I may not be able to get in.

3) I should have a recap on the major topics again so that I can make more contributions in class.

4) A realisation that since I am working, in order for things to happen as planned, I need more time for preparation and get things done.No more last minute work.

5) Keep a lookout on the financial aid. Who knows someone or company might sponsor me.

After writing this down, Mr H felt fully satisfied. Even though his first application was a false start, he found many things with that experience. Many obstacles suddenly appear and he knows how to avoid them. He also realised that even if this is a false start, it did not diminish his motivation and desire to get his graduate degree. In fact, he was even more motivated to do it.

As you can see, false starts may indeed be a good thing. It gives you time to rehearse your movements and actions, give you time to spot obstacles and learn from there. 

The important guideline to everyone is "In every experience, regardless good or bad, lies the opportunity to learn and re-learn until one gets the message behind the experience."

If it is a bad experience, one have to try to turn it into a positive experience. It will be difficult to do it and at times seems impossible, but as you mull over it, like Mr H, you will eventually get there. 

It does not matter if you are fast or slow, as long as you get the message.

Learn to accept mistakes and failures, even though they are hard to swallow and one might choke. 

After all, it is just embarrassment for a fews moments of your lifetime to learn something that will last one forever. Think of it, isnt it a good investment?