False start vs head starts

Life is full of false starts, believe or not, it does not just happens in the athletic world.

A lot of people feel that having too many false starts is not good for personal development. It will lower the person's morale.

I beg to differ.

Having false starts indicates that the preparation work is insufficient so therefore to prevent further losses or damages, the process which has commenced, is terminated.

Let me share with you an example.

Mr H has recently decided to apply for graduate programme at a local university.

He took a look at the deadline and he thought,"Wow! 15 Aug! Better hurry!"

He was very conscientious. He went to the library to research on his thesis topic almost every week.

Finally nearly 2 weeks before the deadline, he found the thesis topic of his choice.

Then he merrily carry on asking his ex-lecturer for recommendation letters and so on.

But,

little did he know that it is the little things like admin procedures that caused him to not complete his application in time. 

He was crestfallen and depressed for several days.

It seems like he was unable to plan even a small thing like this.

It also makes him doubt if he is able to go back to school, whether he still have the energy and the drive to do it.

However, a good friend saved his day.

The good friend asked, "What are the benefits of NOT achieving this?"

For a moment, there was silence. Mr H was simply stunned.

"How can it be possible to have benefits for not achieving the very thing that I desired? How could he suggest that to me? We have been friends for so long yet he said this to me. I am so hurt."

He could not answer the friend and left in a hurry. 

He did not contact his friend for 2 days because he was still in the hurting stage and he wondered if there is any truth in his friend's words.

By the third day, a sudden "AHA" moment came to his mind and he quickly took a pen to wrote it down.

The title is " Benefits for not submitting my graduate studies application."

1) Mental preparation insufficient. The transition period from working adult to student needs to be adjusted.

2) The thesis topic needs to be more specific. Even if I submitted my application this time round, I may not be able to get in.

3) I should have a recap on the major topics again so that I can make more contributions in class.

4) A realisation that since I am working, in order for things to happen as planned, I need more time for preparation and get things done.No more last minute work.

5) Keep a lookout on the financial aid. Who knows someone or company might sponsor me.

After writing this down, Mr H felt fully satisfied. Even though his first application was a false start, he found many things with that experience. Many obstacles suddenly appear and he knows how to avoid them. He also realised that even if this is a false start, it did not diminish his motivation and desire to get his graduate degree. In fact, he was even more motivated to do it.

As you can see, false starts may indeed be a good thing. It gives you time to rehearse your movements and actions, give you time to spot obstacles and learn from there. 

The important guideline to everyone is "In every experience, regardless good or bad, lies the opportunity to learn and re-learn until one gets the message behind the experience."

If it is a bad experience, one have to try to turn it into a positive experience. It will be difficult to do it and at times seems impossible, but as you mull over it, like Mr H, you will eventually get there. 

It does not matter if you are fast or slow, as long as you get the message.

Learn to accept mistakes and failures, even though they are hard to swallow and one might choke. 

After all, it is just embarrassment for a fews moments of your lifetime to learn something that will last one forever. Think of it, isnt it a good investment?