CONGRUENCE

A lot of people do not realise the meaning of congruence.
Congruence in the dictionary is stated as

Agreement, harmony, conformity, or correspondence.

What congruence I am talking about here is the alignment of thoughts and actions and expressions.
Why is this important?
Think of this scenario.
Imagine I ask you to shake your head and at the same time say Yes.
How do you feel?
You feel as if you are being possessed. It is so awkward and mentally draining to ensure this is done as it is a deviation from the norm of nodding head and saying yes.
 That is an example of incongruence.
Often, people will say they are very direct and frank but in fact they are not. Nobody can do it consistently unless you are a robot.
If they insist they can, they must be lying. At some point in time, the listener will remember that this person did say this in the past yet deny it at the end.
When the listener discover this misalignment, they are not going to take it down well. They will take it as a form of betayal or the other person is untruthful due to lack of trust. This person in the act of self-defence will start to tell lies to the other person. How sad can that be if these two persons are close friends?  The damage to the friendship could never be repaired and both party will drift away as it is tiring to guess if the other person is telling the truth every time.

One can try to be as congruent as they can, however when they interests is at stake, the prioritising has to be done.
The congruence eventually gets sacrifice due to the context-specific reasons.
A simple illustration would show this.
For instance Danny told Kinsley that he does not like sausages and will never eat them in his entire life again. He will not even recommend sausages to anyone because of its weird taste.
Kinsley took it to heart and remind himself of his friends' eating habit.
However, not too long later, Kinsley found Danny taking part in the most unlikely competition - racing with others on who can finish the most number of sausage buns.
Why?
Because Danny is out of job and the competition would reward the winner with $100k.
Danny's belief was sacrifice due to his desire for $$.

Can anyone blame the other person for such sacrifice?
I don't think anyone can.
Just feel sad and pity for the person because the person do not know himself or herself well so they make the sweeping statement to say they are congruent in mind and body.

Congruence is not easily achieved in this complex society with a lot of traps and desires beckoning people.